I Failed at Therapy.

Have you ever been to therapy and found it didn't help at all?  Maybe you thought it didn't help as much as you'd hoped?  You left each session still feeling misunderstood, and now you're positive that you are simply beyond help. Before you go thinking that it's something you did, let me offer this.

For the past year my graduate program (Mental Health Counseling) has made a point for us to understand the importance of the “therapeutic relationship”.  This is because it directly correlates with the outcomes of therapy, more than counselor experience, theoretical orientation, anything else really.  It’s about 90% responsible for the outcome. The relationship between the counselor and client as perceived by the client is of paramount importance.  The client needs to feel that the counselor is with them every step of the way.  The client needs to feel not that they are being pushed from behind, pulled from in front, but simply that the counselor is beside them, wherever they choose to go.

Below you'll find the lyrics to a song that perfectly represents the therapeutic relationship from my perspective.  Before you American Idol haters focus on who sings the song, know that the song was co-written by Drew Pearson and Greg Holden.  

Home

­Hold on, to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringing us along
Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home

Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home

Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you’re not alone
Cause I’m going to make this place your home

  

If you tried to attend therapy and feel that you failed at it, or it failed you, try again.  Try a different therapist. Give them minimum a month before deciding that you feel good about it or not, but if you don't, DON'T hesitate to try someone else.  It's less about their experience, their theoretical orientation, or their gender.  Nothing matters more to the outcome than the space between you two.  That space should feel safe.  That space should feel like a home.

Many moons ago I had decided to try and hop on the blog train.  Thinking it was a great way to get ideas and thoughts out to the world, and being a highly opinionated person, I thought "Hey, why not?!" Multiple factors jumped to my attention after.  In creating a blog, you really should have someone edit your posts.  You should also engage your followers by asking them questions.  I just wanted a place to put my thoughts! I didn't realize there were so many facets to having a "good" blog.  Well, as I so often do, I let perfection be the enemy of good.  I didn't write anything else.  Too intimidated. Scared it would turn out poorly.  Here I am about a year later, and I've determined that other than my journal and letters to a friend overseas (aka my human journal), I still had too many ideas floating around and nowhere to put them that would satisfy my psyche.  So here goes round two.  If not perfect or good, than merely my place to just be myself.  Who could ask for anything more?

Dangerous D.C.

I've officially found the most dangerous place in D.C. 

If you don't move quickly enough, if you're not ready when they are, or if you're unsure, you will get hurt.
I live in a rent controlled apartment and there are always 2 security guards walking around my parking lot at night.  I feel safer there than I do at...

 a Starbucks in Downtown D.C. at 8:48 a.m.

A bunch of people who are not yet awake, running late in getting to what they think are extremely important jobs, who haven't yet had their caffeine, and if they don't start walking in two minutes because YOU are taking too long to order, or someone takes too long to make their Venti Iced Soy Chai Latte, they are going to be late for their SUPER important meeting at their Super important job. 

Not to say anything of the people who are employed there...Be ready for them because they're ready for you.  Don't look scared.  They can pick up on it.  And above all, if you're a repeat customer, have a few cents to throw in the tip jar...(preferably while they're looking).

Arm yourself.  Go at 8:30 am instead.

This is just a test...

This is a test to see exactly how the "blogsphere" works.  To a naive person, it seems as though it is a published journal.  It is an outlet to say something you think is important.  If someone agrees that it is worth thinking about, they will read it.  Things I have to say...you're not going to die if you don't know them.  But the truth of the matter is, your life will be better if you listen, (most often).  So this is by no means a blog telling you what to do.  This is my experiment in writing.  This is my first attempt at helping people live the lives they want to live.  This is me going out of my comfort zone.  This will hopefully help someone smile, someone laugh, and someone think.