Butterflies, Alchemy, and Monday Morning Obligations

Are you waiting for me to start detailing all the woes of my Monday morning?  What about statistics on the most common day of the week for heart attacks to occur?  Not going to happen.  Sorry to disappoint, but you won't find that here - aka: Sorry I'm NOT sorry.
 

Butterflies

For those of you who did not know, I have Adult ADHD.  My biggest challenges in coping with it are time management, planning, and strategizing to reach goals. 
 
WARNING: small tangent ahead
Rated: PG
 
Please, PLEASE spare me any comments such as "Oh I have that too!" or "Tell me about it, I can't sit still!"  I don't ask this to be mean.  I simply want to communicate this: ADHD is not one symptom, some of the time, (i.e. sometimes I fidget in class, sometimes I can't focus, sometimes I get distracted).  It's also NOT something most people are happy/excited/bragging about, unless they've managed to work through the coping process and get their lives back in order. 

The reality for me is that even on medication, my ADHD almost got me kicked out of my Graduate School program.  

Butterflies continued...

For this reason, the first part of the day can be the most stressful for me.  What am I going to do today?  I have my list of things I need to do.  Here come the butterflies. What do I do while I'm waiting for the sun to come up?  Should I take a shower so I can leave right away?  Should I take a run first? More butterflies.  Will I have the energy to run later, if I don't do it now?!  

Monday Mornings

But it's not all negative, you see.  The other part is wondering which book I should pick up and what I should blog about!  How will I make a difference in the world today?!  The biggest Butterfly that visits me EVERY Monday morning is called, "So much to do, so little time." Where do I start? 

In the past, this Butterfly has rendered me helpless.  Analysis paralysis takes over and I spend the morning goofing off until 15 minutes before I need to leave the house.

The following is an excerpt from my latest book purchase, a "classic self-help book for adults with attention deficit disorder", aptly named You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid, or Crazy?!  I like this because it's an affirmation of sorts, (good food for your subconscious).  I can also use it to help me cope with my chronic illness on difficult mornings, of which there are many.  The ability to turn a bad morning into a good day should be considered a superpower, in my opinion! The quote is by Cathy Better of Reisertown, Maryland.

Each day that we wake is a new start, another chance.

 

Why waste it on self-pity, sloth and selfishness?

 

Roll that day around on your tongue, relish the taste of its freedom.

 

Breathe deeply of the morning air, savor the fragrance of opportunity.

 

Run your hands along the spine of those precious 24 hours

 

and feel the strength in sinew and bone.

 

Life is raw material.  We are artisans.

 

We can sculpt our existence into something beautiful,

 

or debase it into ugliness.

 

It's in our hands.

 



When I read this affirmation I think, "Ok! I can do this!  I decide that today is going to be a great day!"  Sounds easy, right?  Read a poem, save the world!

Alchemy

So this morning, as I politely told my Butterfly of Indecision to take a hike, I picked up The Alchemist**.  As usual, one of the first passages I read related to what I was dealing with at that very moment.

(He refers to the shepherd):
 
"He still had some doubts about the decision he had made.  But he was able to understand one thing: making a decision was only the beginning of things.  When someone makes a decision, he is really diving into a strong current that will carry him to places he had never dreamed of when he first made the decision."

Wow.  So true. 

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday mornings, I wake up at 4:30am, long before the sun rises.  I thoroughly enjoy being up to watch the sunrise, simply for the feeling it gives me.  It's empowering, signaling a fresh new day is here.  The sun coming up says to me, "The world is your oyster!  Now go make a difference today!  Choose to make today special!

Where do I start?  In the spirit of improving my time management skills, I have a list of weekly obligations to choose from.  Plenty of different types of activities.  But none of them seem like the best way to start such an important day!

Then the Universe hands it to me.

I think, "Hmm...I should write a blog post.  I really want to improve my writing and I love connecting with people on that level."  Then I look at the inside cover of the book. 

"To realize One's destiny is a person's only obligation." - from The Alchemist
 
SWEET!  The Universe just gave me permission to spend my morning blogging!  I know I sound like a nerd but blogging is not just typing randomly on a page.  Blogging and written communication remain two of my biggest challenges. They give me butterflies, as they're the type of challenge that get me locked-in, my heart racing, and my mind hyper focused.  Pretty awesome stuff.

What are YOUR Monday Morning Butterflies telling YOU? 

My intuition tells me there are two groups; people with Butterflies, and people without Butterflies. 

People with Butterflies are in the contemplation stage of change.  I just learned about this in class last week.  They are anxious/excited about something, but maybe not quite sure how to go about it, or unsure of what the next step is.  They do acknowledge that something needs to change, and as such are at the very least aware of a sense of unease.

People without Butterflies are in the pre-contemplation stage of change.  They don't believe there is a problem.  First step is admitting there's a problem, and they've yet to take that step.  Other people that fall into this category are those who have become comfortable being uncomfortable.  You know who I mean.  The ones who don't want help with their situation, they just want to bitch.


If YOU are lucky enough to be visited by these flirty fun creatures, do yourself a favor and listen to them.  Holy cow this is so Gestalt. If your Butterfly could talk, what would he/she say?

In closing, I'll leave you with the great words of a guy I met at a summer program, (GSP alum holla). As I waited to take my turn on stage and sing "Take My Breath Away" in front of over 500 people, I remember telling him, "I'm nervous! I have butterflies in my stomach!"

Though I don't remember his name, he said something I'll never forget.  This beautiful man said to me, "Then make them fly in formation."




Footnotes/Tangents
**The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho: One of three or four books I'm reading and listening to.#  I'd heard of it before, and decided to read it when I heard Will Smith (one of my soul mates) give a glowing description of it.  JSYK, the story is truly amazing for the person that is ready.

#@dhd@lert: I'm always reading more than one book.  Also, when I really want to absorb the material I will listen to the audiobook (because my strongest learning style is auditory) in addition to reading it.

The Genre of My Novel Life

If you wrote a book about your life, would anyone read it?

      I started writing a novel, based on real events and real people.  Because of the close connection to my life, I thought of a question I've heard in the past, one of those thought provoking questions about the meaning of life.  It asks, "If you wrote a book about your life, would anyone read it?"  Naturally my thought train starts careening down the tracks. 

*Picture Marty in the DeLorean from Back to the Future.*

If everyone wrote a book about their lives (their “Novel Life”) and had to publish it…

      My first thought; what if they are a shitty writer, or (God forbid) have a boring life? How sad they would be when no one found their life novel!  Then again, what I consider boring may be entertaining to someone else. 

Then, something occurred to me. 

*Train continues rolling down the tracks.* 

The happenings of someone's life aren't necessarily the determinant of their story. The story they write would most likely be their interpretation of the events mixed with their common inner dialogues.  Those two factors would determine what genre their novel would be.  What are the options? 

*This is where I realized I didn’t know a comprehensive list of genre’s* 

After visiting Wikipedia I came up with the following:

Drama, Poetry, Fantasy, Humor, Fable, Fairy Tales, Science Fiction, Realistic Fiction, Horror, Legend, Mystery, Mythology, Romance, Epistolary novel

How could an individual’s interpretation of life events and inner dialogues manifest the genre of their “Novel Life”?

The sad and overworked 28 year-old man, who hates his desk job and listens to Michael Buble when he’s feeling lonely….that’s a tragedy.

The paranoid schizophrenic who recites sonnets to anyone who will listen, all the while spitting out his daily medication – humorous psychological thriller

My sister would most likely write her life as a dramatic fairytale (She’s more in the realm of fantasy in that respect.)

What about me?

First I contemplated the book I am writing. It contains a snapshot of my life, and although I am using real people as characters the events are fiction.  So….that book would definitely be a romantic drama (sex, suspicion, custody battles, *the works*).  What about my whole life? If I were held to the same standard as the rest of society, and had to pick a genre for my Novel Life, what would it be?

Because I was ignorant of the different genres for literature when the thought train first started rolling down the tracks, I thought of stories I've read, and which style I most closely related to my life. The book that came to mind was one a dear friend shared with me; the perks of being a wallflower by Stephen Chbosky.  

      Completely unlike the protagonist in my outward behavior (he was shy and I’m NOT), I really relate to and appreciate certain elements within his story.

      The lessons Charlie (the main character) learns are not at the climax of a dramatic plot.  The lessons are derived in the quiet, private, contemplative moments throughout his day, and the way he describes them shows he gives them a sort of reverence.  One example is when he told his teacher that his sister’s boyfriend was physically abusive.

“he said something to me I don’t think I’ll forget this semester or ever. ‘Charlie, we accept the love we think we deserve.’”

My favorite instance is also the most celebrated line from the book, described here in context:

“Anyway, Patrick started driving really fast, and just before we got into the tunnel, Sam stood up, and the wind turned her dress into ocean waves. When we hit the tunnel, all the sound got scooped up into a vacuum and it was replaced by a song on the tape player. A beautiful song called “Landslide.” When we got out of the tunnel, Sam screamed this really fun scream, and there it was. Downtown. Lights on buildings and everything that makes you wonder. Sam sat down and started laughing. Patrick started laughing. I started laughing.
And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.”

*Ahhh...doesn't that just make your soul happy?!*

There is self-reflection when you least expect it, and moments of innocence and mindfulness.  I relate to this and would write my life similarly for how I've conducted it so far.

SKUUUURRRRRTTTT!!!!!!!  HALT THAT TRAIN.

I’m in charge, right?

I create my universe?

In essence, I have control over what genre my novel life would be.

So the better question is not what would it be, but more importantly, what do I WANT it to be?

*Oh Lord.  This is getting subway style in a hurry. (Subway style = too many choices)*

After reviewing the options it wasn't hard to decide.  I would add elements of the legend genre; stories of a hero with a basis in fact, but also including imaginative material.  My inner dialogue is constantly telling me there’s a purpose for my struggle, and that I will eventually ROAR Katy Perry Style.  Give me a few years, and you can read it for yourself.

What is the Genre of Your Novel Life?  If you wrote it today, what would it be?  If you owned the freedom of having a choice, what would you choose for yourself?  Post in the comment section what the Genre of Your Novel life would Be!